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God is Writing My Story “One-Day-At-A-Time”

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This is a real cool way of looking at my life’s journey through God’s eyes. As I (Pray, Seek, Knock)  it is my endeavor to be CHANGED and BECOME all He has called us to be…(that goal and promise just blows my mind)    I need to be aware of the fact that….He has already written my story.  It is a story on my life, transformed as I walk with Jesus, down a path He has prepared in advance.  Think about it, We are not called to be heroes might even be a hero, but regardless of the direction or the location (mountains, valleys, deserts, meadows, or along calm rivers flowing with cool water) He is leading the way, all that I have to do is follow His lead.

Before you were conceived, God imagined your life from beginning to end. He writes, not with paper and ink, but three dimensionally in time, weaving your story into a larger narrative about His character and love.  Your life plays out for all to see on the cinema screen called reality.  And in your story, you are the hero.  Not exemplifying a heroism that “saves the day,” but rather a heroism that courageously journey’s toward a life of transformation and transcendence, a life of abiding in Jesus, moment-by-moment.”   Make no mistake the journey you’re on is one between you and God.  He’s already written everything; you’re just living the script.”  “Remember, it’s your story.  It’s your journey.  Regardless of how you might feel, your life is going somewhere.”   From a recent Belief changers’ blog.http://beliefchangers.com/site/blog/have-you-read-the-story-written-about-you/#

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Hello world!

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I am not sure if I will ever have an audience and I am not sure where to start with a blog.   Unfortunately, because FaceBook is so interactive, I feel lost.  Writing here gives me the feeling I am alone on an island or locked away in a room brainstorming a new project. This will take some getting used to. The instant gratification of FB may draw me away.  I’ll give it a try and organize my thoughts in hopes that I might share something worth reading.

Have a great day!

 

My previous blogs were at http://blessed-by-god-kimmomof4boys.blogspot.com/

Giving this another whirl

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I am a work in progress, forever being sanctified by Him, through Him and in Him. “Heb 10:14 For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.”

I am well aware of the fact that I over-think/stress things, I miss my mom and dad dearly, I Love God above all things , Jesus is my ROCK and my SALVATION, Life is always changing, but I stand firm in Him.

I realize our days are numbered, better start living for the Lord and stop chasing the wind and all its vanity,. Never stop learning, everything starts with a thought, make the next thought about something more than the temporal, eternity minded and other’s focused is a great place to begin the day, but After that cup of coffee �

I love my 4 sons, (to the moon and back) and they are my pride and joy. Most days, I long for Jesus’ return and going home, but not until I share with as many people as possible what that means.

The more I mess up my life and turn to Jesus, the more I find my life in Him. I am finally learning what his means “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” Matthew 16:25

Thankful for the thoughtful overview and hope filled prognosis’ of my accountability sisters over this last week.. I have to say, “I agree whole heartedly”.

We are on the same page, my friends. Getting a full time job lined up and a routine is a priority.  I really feel it’s needed.  I want to know where I belong and fit, to me that would be heaven. Right now, I’m a hot mess one day and a happy camper the next. I feel like a transient, more than not. School may lead to that perfect job or perhaps a successful self-employment opportunity.

I know this is not my home, but I also know God has a place for me in this Mess of a world, until that day when he chooses to take me home. I’m praying for clarity and purpose,  Like Joseph, I want to be apart of God s calling and I want to see the rewards. Thanks for having confidence in me and giving me room to wiggle and fail and lending a hand and heart when asked.  In doing so, you cover me while I, in all humility, get back up, shake off the dust and start down that road again.

I’m on a journey.  It’s an adventure that, sometimes leaves me depleted and scared. Thankfully, I hold his promises close and my faith is grounded in a hope that is not wishful thinking or conditional on the acceptance of others.  Jesus is my hope and until that day, I know, He does all and only good.  He takes this hot mess and squeezes the junk out as He hugs me and comforts me through the valley of the shadow of death. Because of Him, I fear no evil nor will never prevail. I know, I will never want and He anoints what/who He calls…

I pray to clearly see and walk in the calling He, prepared for me a long, long time ago. Not for you or someone else, but for me.

I pray, I can assist in helping others seek vision, direction, guidance and confidence for the same to be true in their lives.  I know it requires, Living one day at a time, accepting hardship, being content, knowing that, one day, we will all see Him face to face. And what a day that will be  hallelujah.

Love and grace to the reader,

Kim

 

My cold heart needs the warmth and life giving blood of Jesus, today and every day.

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I needed to retread my own thoughts. How easily we forget, our own past reflections when we turn away and get caught up in the issues of the day.

kimmomof4boys

“Brrrrrr it is cold in this house”, are the first words I hear this November morning.  The words resonated within me and got me examining my own cold heart, the place that is suppose to be Christ’s home.

When I walk around on auto pilot, think negative thoughts, feel like a victim or want to run away, these are all signs of a cold heart.  “Lord, give me a heart that longs after yours and spends the time necessary basking in the warmth of your presence.  Fill me up, overflowing, that that same warmth would be evident to those you have put into my life.”

Did you know that it is the blood that warms our body, from the inside out?  The life is in the blood.  the blood of Jesus gives life, warms up a cold heart and feeds and nourishes the soul.  If you give that warmth away…

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Amazing Grace is delivered in many forms, honesty and acceptance count too.

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Hello, My name is Kim, I am a grateful child of God, and I have discovered that I struggle with Co-dependency.

I have been asked by a friend to share my personal journey regarding this subject. I will begin by sharing what I have discovered and what I believe has been required to come to terms with and stay in recovery in my life as a co-dependent.

It starts with a humble heart before the Lord. I have heard the word “co-dependent” many times over the past 29 years and I have even stumbled upon it while reading self help books over the past 26 years. I never gave it a lot of thought. Over the past year and a half, my family and I have gone through severe family and personal crisis that have begun to expose a heart filled with pain and anxiety, I fell so far into despair, It seems to me, looking back, that I spent almost every minute on my knees crying out to the Lord for help. I was emotionally spent and at my end.

The fall of 2011, I was blessed to be able to attend a women’s retreat at the request of my Sister-in-law.  She had only recently come into a personal relationship with Jesus, and didn’t want to go alone. How could I say “No?”  Little did I realize, the retreat was more for me than it was for her.  All weekend, I kept hearing, from different women that I was paired with, “You must be co-dependent!”  At first, I took offense, but after observing their heart’s for the Lord, hearing their testimonies and the powerful confessions of their own personal recovery from Co-Dependency, I knew I needed to know more.  I wanted to experience the hope, the freedom and the joy that I could see beaming from their faces and through the energy they shared with each other. That was a start…there is more…

I felt as if God was telling me to take the step of faith. It was more like a giant leap. I loved my Lord and would walk, run or leap if He asked me to.  I looked up a ministry by the name of Celebrate Recovery. They had a meeting each Thurs at 6:30.  I had 3 days to pray and think about it.  I knew that God was urging me to walk by faith.

That first night, I walked, across that parking lot, into a room where they were singing and praising the Lord. I thought “This is a good sign”. Next, there were the expected formalities that go with any program, church service or ministry. They gave their introductions, announcements, took an offering, etc, but most remarkable was, on this particular night, a woman gave her testimony of her life, where she had been and where God has taken her. It was her “Road to Recovery”, . Yes, that is what they call it..  It was nothing short of  seeing God’s grace in action. After, the big group time, I sat in on a “Newcomer’s Group”.   There, everyone had a chance to share, or not, it was their choice. They would share why they were there and I honestly, didn’t know why.  I couldn’t bring myself to say, “I am co-dependent”. When the time ran out, we were taken aside and directed into what group would best serve us if we chose to come back the next week.  They could see right through me and suggested that I attend The women’s Co-dependency group.”

I was not completely at ease, I feared what would I have to do if I came back and what people would think? What would I tell my family as an explanation for leaving every Thursday night?  I considered not returning, but God had other plans.  It helped that everyone was warm, joyful, non judging and, (can I say it?) Non-pious.  No-one was there to preach or judge, fix or correct me. There was just this sense of acceptance, and encouragement to seek God’s word, love, mercy and His grace through the means of a safe a caring support group.

I have been attending, faithfully, every Thursday for 2 and 1/2 years now.  At first, I told my family I was attending counseling, the truth is. It was a form of counseling for me.  In time, I was able to share with my husband the details of where, why and what.  Surprisingly, he was accepting and at times would show full support and encouragement, not only to attend, but also giving me the space to build relationships with the special women in my my small Step Study group. He has told me that he can see change, in fact, just yesterday, he said me, “Honey, I am noticing that you serve your family and manage our home with a great balance of, both, Martha and Mary.”  Imagine that?

I have learned so much. Now, I wake up each day and take on each situation, good or bad, with the knowledge that God loves me, “That while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me” and that I matter to Him, and He has a plan for me, a plan to live in the Freedom and Joy of my Salvation.  I have made some deep connections with other women in my small group, who like me, struggle with co-dependency. They don’t try to fix me, counsel me, instead, they are there for support, encouragement, prayer and accountability.

Because of my attendance at Celebrate Recovery, I can honestly say, I am seeing the healing side of recovery.  I have found support, encouragement and accountability. Oh, I probably wrote that already, but it is what it is in a nut-shell. I am participating in a weekly Step Study. It is aimed at specific areas of compulsion or addiction and recovery steps to find healing and create healthy habits for change..

Being a part of a group like this is where the rubber meets the road.  It has been the help that I needed after I made a decision to come clean from whatever has come between me and my wholeness in the Lord. I am learning to be honest with myself, God and someone I trust. I feel that I have found a similar support from other small groups and I am a New Life ministry junkie

Let me repeat, I struggle with co-dependency and, although, I am not addicted to any substance the struggles read out at the same way at their root. It reads out as a compulsion to have control over something or someone. My addiction is my family.  I have spent most of my adult life choosing to have control over my family in the form of enabling, serving and loving them too much.  Why?  I believe it stems from a void in my life, a need to be needed and a need to validate or feel valued. When they needed me, I felt I had a purpose.

This type of controlling behavior has been just as damaging as any addiction and has not been a healthy or happy way to live.  I’ve learned, I’m not alone, Most people have their addictions rooted in a compulsion to control. I’ve looked at my past and can see its has some it roots from trauma from my past, (separation of a total dependency of God leaving a void) I’m still unraveling the specifics, but it might have been a way to cope with physical, emotional abuse, or due to my struggle of unmet needs. As a Christian I’ve said it but now I understand it and surrender daily my wants, needs and expectations knowing only the Lord can heal, restore and fill my heart.

It is amazing to see the victory in the lives of the people who go to this ministry and I too have a place to seek healing, restoration and (YES) wholeness through the forgiveness from the Lord. I’m have begun to experience from and to other people too. resulting in restored relationships. God has become my true and only source of life and liberty. Im learning new healthy choices while staying connected to a safe support group where I receive encouragement from other believers.  The most awesome result of recovery is I can give this new life away by my example, to bring that same encouragement and hope to others.

I know. No one is without sin, it just comes in different forms. I look around and see hurting people struggling in their hurts, habits and hangups. I am so grateful to God that He used a point in my life to direct me to the freedom found in confession, repentance, forgiveness and the new life born in a relationship with and because of Jesus Christ.

I have always known of Jesus, but knowing Jesus requires that she also knows me intimately, that includes every secret, every sin, every compulsion, and every fear.  There is a new found Freedom in living my life when I fully rely on His love, grace a mercy each and every day.  “Not my will be done, but Yours” becomes, truth, living and active, not just a prayer, but a way of living.

In closing, I can see that my over loving, is no less of a sin than any other compulsion or unhealthy habit. Turning my life over to God and His will is the only solution.  I am a work in progress.  Heb 10:14 has always been a special verse to me. .. God’s grace is sufficient, for me and you!

On the Road to Recovery for me means participating in a biblical study, focused on my personal relationship with Jesus and dependence on Him, meeting once a week with other women who are doing the same, staying in touch with someone I can be accountable to, reading God’s word, and journal my heart, prayers, praise reports, struggles and successes as I journey home with Joy in my King.

Blessings,
Kim

Retrospective from 2008 Prayer Journal…God is Good!

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This morning, when I went through a prayer journal from 2008, I was so blessed to see how God has worked over the past 4 years.  If you could hear me, imagine a loud SHOUT  “Hallelujah” Praise the Lord. 

I try to write in my journal daily. Well anyway, it is awesome to see God move in my heart and life through my true, desire to be changed and the support and encouragement of friends, new and previous (I avoided using the word OLD) : )   …..

Jan 2008, I am reading through the following prayer requests.   I prayed that God would help me to acquire a balanced life.

 

“Lord, my I seek You daily, with a healthy fear the Lord, that I would be still know You are God,,Give me what I need to love my family, number my days, that I may put on the Whole Armor of God required to guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. That I would do good, smile often, be obedient to seek and do Your will,  serving You and nothing more.  I pray that You will continue to take what You have begun in me and take it to perfect completion. 

 

It is my prayer that I will regard my stewardship responsibilities with diligence, taking care of what You have entrusted to my care, such as, marriage, family, my health, friendships, finances, mind and everything in between.  Help me to remember to express Thanks, to calculate the cost and take in all the blessings You have bestowed on me. There are many; home, family, 4 boys, a faithful, God fearing husband, the gift of being able to stay home and educate my boys, freedoms, friends, physical, mental and emotional health, Your creations and all its beauty, Your love, friendship, guidance, protection, peace, and the wonderful Holy Spirit, that You have chosen to deposit in my heart.

 

As You taught us to pray,  Matthew 6:9  “Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be thy name, Your Kingdom come, You will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  I acknowledge that Your Kingdom lives in my heart, You are bearing fruit in my life and giving me a beautiful testimony of Your faithfulness and sovereignty in my life. 

 

Help me to separate myself from the things that steal and produce death. Instead, give me a renewed mind that is focused on Your truth and fill me up to overflowing, so that I may speak life everywhere I go.  Thank you Lord, in Jesus name, amen.

How To Be A More Patient Mom in Just 24 Hours — Inspired To Action

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I love this article….

It can, seriously, apply to all relationships

 

How To Be A More Patient Mom in Just 24 Hours — Inspired To Action.

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home: The Truth About Discontentment

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A Wise Woman Builds Her Home: The Truth About Discontentment.

Enjoy this blog…Perfect reminder for us as we go through the current chapter.

 


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